Theory Trial Session

i just finished reading a very lovely blog and suddenly the hormones kick in. the love hormone and the i-have-to-write-something hormone. nothing much that i can really relate my life with that blog's author except that she has something i always dream of. that's all.

i am now having a great time; tomorrow i am going to sit for my second paper, yesterday was the first paper, and papers for the next two following days. i know. i still write anyway. i should be sleeping right now. maybe after this. currently downloading The Perks Of Being A Wallflower to be watched before i go to exam tomorrow. yeah, that's what Einstein did before he came up with a theory or something. no kidding. i am so lazy to take the exam, sit for the papers, all i know was to end it and be back home on thursday. that's all. but sometimes the reality or awareness kicks in. i start to think what my final result would be if i continue to not read books or anything to prepare for those papers. and also what would my facial expression be when i received my results. i just sit here, i mean, lie down in my bed all day and night for the past few days prior to my exam commencement. and dined out at secret recipes, kfc, kopitiam.. something a normal student would not do few days before exams. 

alright, truth be told, i am testing it. i am testing my theory. the theory: what would it be if (1) i don't study anything for the whole two weeks before exam (2) i don't study during nights of exam (3) i watch movies and ease my stress during the exam week.

HAHA

yup, i think we all can pretty much guess the outcome. failure. of course i knew it.

this laziness syndrome started pretty much like this. i went back home from kelantan to banting for 4 days, 3 weeks prior to exam. i enjoyed everything i have there. and then i got back here in kelantan for 14 days of study week which previously i had planned to be full of studying and books and revisions before the exam. i lasted a few days here (i was having some strange stress that i think i have never experienced before) and 12 days prior to exam i went back to my hometown. again i enjoyed, amused, treated myself going to singapore, hanging out, watching movies and all the good stuffs imaginable. 5 days prior to exam (still in hometown, banting) i started to think about my exam. so i started to read on things in books that i brought home and some notes. and mind you i was very very minimal amount of reading. and 2 days prior to exam i got back here in kelantan to sit for my exam. now i am dumb.

~

i feel like not living the life i need to live but instead i am living the life i want to live. of course i don't always dream of being a doctor, i always dream of being a teacher. i don't know why either. anyway i don't think and understand that now is not the time to change the direction of my life. i mean this is what life is right? sometimes we get what we dreamed of, some other times we don't. i think life is something to be embraced not to be ran away from. so, let us all see what life might comes to me after this. and what my results be when miracles (kiramah, istidraj etc) hits me. haha. and still don't forget to always wish for the best of us. amin :)

love xoxo