Teacher That Never Touches A Heart

Assalamualaikum 

i have never been touched like this before,

i mean, not in this way,

alright, before this, 

i never understands what my students were doing back home;

when they didn't finish their homework,

when they can't answer my question;

when they can't pass the exam.

 i expressed that wonder to them.

all i know was that they are underprivileged,

born with no silver spoon,

living hardly everyday,

that their parents are working hard everyday to find them money to go to school,

that maybe their parents had no time to look after the children's study,

and i always tell them to study for the sake of their future,

i told them when they got home,

they got to do revisions on subjects,

i told them that don't need any distraction at school as their main purpose is to study.

study diligently so that their future can be guaranteed;

as their parents had no money sufficient enough to send them to private universities,

they need to ensure themselves that their future are bright enough for them to continue life.

but the most actual fact that i never had the chance to know before this was,

that their life are not as easy as i thought.

if before this, i only know that at home, they need not to think about anything else accept studying,

i was wrong!

they need to think about their study AND their family's survival! 

they have to think ways to help their parents out,

they have to ease the burden of their parents,

so they work!

they do any jobs available for them.

anything that can keep their rice cooker filled in.

and this thing happens right in front of my eyes

i met three of my students at bazaar this evening 

and they are selling drinks!
no that's not their stall, a pakcik owns it.

i was shocked to see them but i just remained cool in front of them

and bought 'air chrysanthemum' from their stall while my heart 

was pounding and screaming and crying hard!

 back in the car i almost fell into tears.

no i am not being dramatic.

now i understand

now i am touched

now i realize.

they are not the same like me.

i grew up in a boarding school, i live in hostel and i don't have to think

about anything else except study.

they grew up in a daily school, and they see their parents' hardship everyday

and they need to think about many other things besides study.

they are many other differences that exist between 

my life back then and their life now.

at first i never understand them.

i never tried to understand them.

now i am saying my apologies to them

for so many reasons.

God bless you, me and my students.

A Different Side of Me

assalamualaikum :)

bulan puasa bulan baik.

so i pun nk jadi org baik.

god bless us.

mlm semalam i termimpi benda yg tak berapa baik.

tapi x baik kalau kite fikir sgt pasal mimpi kn?

tapi, yg lg pelik mimpi tu dtg dlm bulan x de shitan.

anyway,

smlm jugak ad berita gembira 

my friend texted me:

"I**y S***k tanye pasal youuuu!"

and i was like so happy!

i jumped here and there! 

okay, no more details, bahaye.

so tonight i having a dilemma.

dilemma choosing between anatomy or physiology.

sounds mcm budak poyo sgt kn?

tp nk bwt mcm mne.

i'm going into a med school this september 

and i dont want to be like the dumbest there.

furthermore, i have nothing else to do,

hang out? i'm broke.

work? too late now.

so ddk kat rumah boring 

better for me to open those notes

i received from usm seniors.

last one,

pegi surau best sbb di samping beribadah,

boleh cuci mata!

org kate

"kalau nk carik jodoh carik kat masjid"

and i'm happy to do that :)

Reminiscence

hyeee :)

just got back from tarawih.

one thing that i remembered time tunggu masuk waktu isyak tadi,

ternampak lah budak-budak kecil lari ke sana ke mari.

maka teringatlah waktu adik-adik dulu, bermain dengan riang,

kesana ke mari berlari-lari tanpa mengisahkan ape org-org lain kata, sebab budak kecil kan?

sape kisah. best nye feeling rase budak kecil.

sekarang rase nak semua benda dgn bebas tapi dah x boleh dah,

kene fikir nanti ape pulak org laen kate. 

"dah besar-besar pun buat bende mcm budak-budak"

"ee, berape umur die? x sedar diri betul"

so basically, all those time dah lepas dah. x boleh ulang balik.

i have to get over it. huhh