Everywhere I Am, There You'll Be

whenever i feel like writing, i write.

and please, don't be a grammar nazi. it's killing me.

can i consider myself as crazy unstable dramatic person. i watch too many movies and get hung over the movies, feeling and imagining that somehow my  life could be like it. i always wish my life to get better. particularly on the part where i always feel lonely. so that loneliness is what drives me to think irrationally, i think. i don't know if there's any other thing that makes me crazy. i feel good when i watch movies, dramas etc but i always feel uncomfortable around people. awkwardness here and there. i cannot be myself at times. and become a total retard on that account. so for that, then, i always wish for a company. a loyal loving company. whom i will not judge by the look, just enough by the heart and neither the company will. 

i do have friends, you see. but then, sometimes even with friends, i can feel awkwardness creeping inside my mind retarding the way i communicate. it would be so unnatural. so not me. 

for some, they may say, "you know, if you don't find people, find God". i agree with that.

and i tried and still trying, you know, to be a better person, who always remember God and remember the day that i will die. but i don't know now, at some point, i just need support from a living person to teach me the way to God. i just need to feel more affection i may say. sorry if i speak out of term here. alright, just a short note from me this time. quite busy nowadays. wishing that God will protect that someone and guide us to the place called Jannah. 

Pray for Gaza, and Aizat, both at war fighting for their future.

Teacher That Never Touches A Heart

Assalamualaikum 

i have never been touched like this before,

i mean, not in this way,

alright, before this, 

i never understands what my students were doing back home;

when they didn't finish their homework,

when they can't answer my question;

when they can't pass the exam.

 i expressed that wonder to them.

all i know was that they are underprivileged,

born with no silver spoon,

living hardly everyday,

that their parents are working hard everyday to find them money to go to school,

that maybe their parents had no time to look after the children's study,

and i always tell them to study for the sake of their future,

i told them when they got home,

they got to do revisions on subjects,

i told them that don't need any distraction at school as their main purpose is to study.

study diligently so that their future can be guaranteed;

as their parents had no money sufficient enough to send them to private universities,

they need to ensure themselves that their future are bright enough for them to continue life.

but the most actual fact that i never had the chance to know before this was,

that their life are not as easy as i thought.

if before this, i only know that at home, they need not to think about anything else accept studying,

i was wrong!

they need to think about their study AND their family's survival! 

they have to think ways to help their parents out,

they have to ease the burden of their parents,

so they work!

they do any jobs available for them.

anything that can keep their rice cooker filled in.

and this thing happens right in front of my eyes

i met three of my students at bazaar this evening 

and they are selling drinks!
no that's not their stall, a pakcik owns it.

i was shocked to see them but i just remained cool in front of them

and bought 'air chrysanthemum' from their stall while my heart 

was pounding and screaming and crying hard!

 back in the car i almost fell into tears.

no i am not being dramatic.

now i understand

now i am touched

now i realize.

they are not the same like me.

i grew up in a boarding school, i live in hostel and i don't have to think

about anything else except study.

they grew up in a daily school, and they see their parents' hardship everyday

and they need to think about many other things besides study.

they are many other differences that exist between 

my life back then and their life now.

at first i never understand them.

i never tried to understand them.

now i am saying my apologies to them

for so many reasons.

God bless you, me and my students.

A Different Side of Me

assalamualaikum :)

bulan puasa bulan baik.

so i pun nk jadi org baik.

god bless us.

mlm semalam i termimpi benda yg tak berapa baik.

tapi x baik kalau kite fikir sgt pasal mimpi kn?

tapi, yg lg pelik mimpi tu dtg dlm bulan x de shitan.

anyway,

smlm jugak ad berita gembira 

my friend texted me:

"I**y S***k tanye pasal youuuu!"

and i was like so happy!

i jumped here and there! 

okay, no more details, bahaye.

so tonight i having a dilemma.

dilemma choosing between anatomy or physiology.

sounds mcm budak poyo sgt kn?

tp nk bwt mcm mne.

i'm going into a med school this september 

and i dont want to be like the dumbest there.

furthermore, i have nothing else to do,

hang out? i'm broke.

work? too late now.

so ddk kat rumah boring 

better for me to open those notes

i received from usm seniors.

last one,

pegi surau best sbb di samping beribadah,

boleh cuci mata!

org kate

"kalau nk carik jodoh carik kat masjid"

and i'm happy to do that :)

Reminiscence

hyeee :)

just got back from tarawih.

one thing that i remembered time tunggu masuk waktu isyak tadi,

ternampak lah budak-budak kecil lari ke sana ke mari.

maka teringatlah waktu adik-adik dulu, bermain dengan riang,

kesana ke mari berlari-lari tanpa mengisahkan ape org-org lain kata, sebab budak kecil kan?

sape kisah. best nye feeling rase budak kecil.

sekarang rase nak semua benda dgn bebas tapi dah x boleh dah,

kene fikir nanti ape pulak org laen kate. 

"dah besar-besar pun buat bende mcm budak-budak"

"ee, berape umur die? x sedar diri betul"

so basically, all those time dah lepas dah. x boleh ulang balik.

i have to get over it. huhh

Best of films

Hello there boys n girls!

so recently i had been watching a few movies just to get me fall asleep, 

but truth is i couldn't! the movies i picked are awesomeee!

 

alright, so the first one is:

okay, i admit that i just watched the full movie yesterday eventho this movie was released in 2001. i know, it's lame right? but thank God finally i watched it, or else i'll die without knowing that this movie is STUPENDOUS! for the record, i almost cry because the storyline of this movie is different and touching and moving and beautiful! i'll love this movie, like, forever :D

a lovely, beautiful, romantic, well-synchronized movie about a girl who were going to her sister's wedding, bringing a hired-man to be her date at the wedding, just to make her ex-boyfriend be jealous of her, of how she continued her life. it turned out that the gentleman she hired was falling into her! oh my! i am so in love with this story!!! i mean, that girl was so stupid and that guy is so gentle and that they made a perfect love story! <3  

 T I T A N I C , T H E  G R E A T E S T

 this one has y favourite since a long time ago and

B E S T :

 

this one has been my favourite since a long time ago and will always be! Queen Anne will always be my idol! jk! R.I.P my Queen, hehe. conspirational, scandals, dark secrets, romance, promiscuosity, life once at court(palace) of England and this movie is T H E B E S T :)

 

 now, i love this story because it is complicated, mysterious, mind-challenging, genius, funny, with an engaging storyline, best line of actors and actresses of styles, and i like it most because of UK!! hehehe still can't stop my obsession for it, in fact, i am still dying to go there! (there, my little important secret got out of the bag!) it's okay, i'm sharing this one secret with you guys only yeah :)

so, sampai sini sahaja lah coretan saya buat kali ini, more upcoming movies to be watched later to help me go on with my life after the downs i'd been through.. i'll share with you guys about the downs i'd been through one day eh? dun worry! 

so much till then now, smile :)

~b.i.b.i~  

Teacher's Day; Their Way

well, for this year, i was celebrating Teacher's Day,

at Sekolah Agama Menengah Unwanus Saadah, where i have been serving there for almost 2 months already! i know, i can't believe it too! 

first and foremost,

i want to wish all my teachers from Tadika Kemas Taman Kemuning, Sekolah Kebangsaan Kanchong Darat, Sekolah Menengah Sains Hulu Selangor, and Centre of Foundation Universiti Teknologi Mara; 

H A P P Y T E A C H E R ' S D A Y !

maybe they are not reading this, and maybe they won't be reading this, maybe my wishes can't come to the presence of your ear, but don't worry dearest teachers, i always remember you all in my pray (makbul or not, i don't know). hehehe berapi je :D

Alright, 

now i need someone to stab me hundredz time cause i just went thru an album, an album of SEMASHUR teacher's day celebration! know what, they got amy search and his kids of the 'infamous' Akademi Fantasia (jealous tone), came over to that school, and got them play on our Dataran Titiwangsa, eat in our Dewan Makan, wear our school's uniform, our sports gear and i dont know what else! oh myyyy! i am deadly jealous! hehe 

not really actually, just a little bit jealous. only a little.

cause you know why? because i had fun today, first time celebrating teachers day :D

let's get back a few days before today~

Friday: most of students were sitting for their PPT so preparation for Dewan Serindit cant be prepared earlier, and when that happened, the rehearsal cant be carried out earlier. rehearsal was postponed to the following day Saturday (which supposed to be my special holiday, throughout the whole week i can only imagine the word Saturday) and now my Saturday shattered into pieces.

Saturday: Rehearsal started at 9 o'clock in the morning, supervised by only one teacher; ME. i mean, wth? mne cikgu cikgi laen, tanye students yg ad, they said: "sir, Hari Guru students uruskan sendiri....". i replied: "okayh, good for you, but what if anything happen? accidents? takkan i sorg nk hanta you pegi hospital??". quick silence. i sighed. "it's okaylah, mule kan jelah rehearsal ni, and kakak kakak, pelajar perempuan yang hias dewan ni bwt keje elok2". and so the rehearsal went on and on while i was busy preparing my choral speaking team for their performance. finished practising, i went back to Serindit Hall utk tgk2 la hows the preparation. masuk2, hmmm boring nye dewan ni, x de balloons, no drapes, no blink2. so i talked to the student incharge for the hall. "cikgu yang suruh you uruskan dewan ni x bagi ape2 bahan ke utk hias dewan?" "x de pun sir..." so i walked into bilik guru and found kain kale ungu yang sgt panjang n gorjes! hehe i dgn selambenye i ambik je, bagi kat stdnt td, and asked her to hang it dekat lampu across the hall! results! I'M GUHREAT! and then i kuar kejap ke kedai beli kertas warne n bling2, balik skolah, bg kt stdnts tu, results! I'M GUH-REAT-ER!

Sunday: holiday!

TODAY:

sampai skolah, perhimpunan pendek, persembahan choral speaking i, n then main!!! ramai cikgu2 bermain menentang pasukan pelajar! cikgu2 llaki main bola tampar. TERBAEK!. puas ak main bola tampar smpi tembam tgn ni. 3 game! igt nk bg str8t set je, tp kesian, bg la seri dulu.. msuk 3rd game, encik2 semue dah pancit termasuk i hahaha finally menang jgak! (mane x nye, 10 lawan 9)

meanwhile, cikgi2 maen bola jaring and indoor games. my mom pnye team maen batu seremban n her team won! hehehe mak borek borek anak rentek rentek :D

pastu upacara dalam Serindit Hall, sang cikgu songs, cikgu ikrar, so many performances, dikir barat, boria from students, plg touching nasyid :( funny yet interesting videos from 'em! sbg penutup, cikgu2 diberi aiskrim n disuruh makan dgn comel depan students. hehh mmg i la paling larhap! bdak2 gelak ape ak paduli! it's TEACHER'S DAY anyway! it's my day! 

FABULOUS DAY!

however, too bad i only have a few pictures to be shared with you guys cause the students incharge hasn't upload much pictures yet. so i guess we'll just have to wait ''. till here then gubbye :*

me while teaching English

playing volleyball with style

dikir Barat awesome :)

~b.i.b.i~

Alzheimer Doctor Here!

Oh wish I cud be one 

:(

tell me guys, how can a doctor treat a patient if the doctor himself is having Alzheimer?

i'm not talking about any other doctors out there, 

but i'm talking about me myself!

O God, help me!

This post actually is all about saying my biggest SORRY to this one particular student.

see, he had been planning an add math class with me throughout the whole week, 

but i screwed up! 

the thing is, this was not the first time, but second time already!

i mean, come on, sape yg tak marah if u made the same mistake twice?

thank god he did not get angry, but i did! 

I was angry with myself. grrwww!

 the class supposed to be yesterday's evening, but somehow, i'd forgotten,

he called me few times, but my f* phone was on silent,

last night when i checked my phone, i saw his number,

dangg!

i called his phone right after that, say my sorry thousand times

sounds stupid when a teacher acting that way to a student,

but who cares, i mean,

if i were the student, i might be thinking,

"cikgu ni nak ajar ke x nak?"

rite?

thank God he forgave me.

I PROMISE I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU, DUDE!

 here, you can have my pinky promise :)

so, speaking about students, well, 70 people of my students are going to sit 

for their exams starting this monday, and so i wish you all, boys and girls;

huhh, I L O V E M Y S T U D E N T S !

~b.i.b.i~

Hello Hello

God i wish i cud write blog as good as them!

HYE PEOPLE!!

after a long break from blogging, finally i'm back! (anybody cares?) yeah, during this break i did read a lot of friends' blogs and now i admit that those bloggers, particularly, my beloved friends, they're AWEsome! 

alright, enough of that. sigh.

now let me tell you what happened to me and where I've been before:
I HAVE BEEN TRAVELING! i took EUROPE of course! jealous much? lol!

in my dreams only of course! owh yes, yes! I've been dreaming a lot these while, which may be the reason I'm not writing i think. been sleeping a lot so i cud dream a lot too. but know what, most of me dreams didn't mention anything close about the thing i'm craving for! pathetic rite? I mean seriously, I couldn't even dream about the thing I want.

  

here it is:

since may last year until march this year i've been attending lectures, tutorials n labs a lot. like everybody else of my age, i was doing my foundation year, and guess what, lucky me cause i got to do it at UiTM Puncak Alam! omigosh, don't laugh. i know you dont know where in the world would that place be. i mean, me too, at first, i didn't know where it is. i was freaking out, and kept asking myself, where is it?, what is it look like?, why didn't i get PASUM the same place of my brother's?  is it going to be as good as PASUM?

but thank God, He had mercy for me on this one, because, UiTM Puncak Alam is way better than PASUM! there! bravely, i made that understatement! sorry a lil bit offensive i think. but i think it is understandable since everybody loves to praise their own school rite? 

anyway, 

all i can say about UiTM P.Alam now is that i miss her very very much! (and by saying 'her' here, i mean, UiTM, not anyone in particular). i had so much fun during both semesters like, who don't love making new friends? it's like, a new chapter of your life. u made memories there, some were kept in the brain, some were kept in the heart. alright, enough of the touchy-touchy part. moving on to the interesting part of my life there:

i met this person, yadayadayada, i pretended to be cool just so that my blush would not appear, well, at least, not too obvious. THE END. hehe

so,

as for now i'm getting reaally busy with books, essays and school stuffs as i am working as a TEACHER now! (you guys already knew that rite?) well, for some, maybe not. so yes, i am a teacher, an English teacher, unqualified, only having MUET Band 4. teacher, a career that never come across my mind. but, what can i say, don't have much choice living up here in this small town. i really don't like teaching this subject, simply because i'm not good in English. try reading from the top of this post till its end, and count all grammatical mistakes i've made; its going to be a lot! however, despite of my badness in teaching English, i took the advantage of teaching to improve my communication skills. hope so! fingers cross!

  
i think that's all for now, this is where i stop, i'll make my leave with my farewell at the top!
quoted from: choral speaking! btw, i trained them! hehe :D

~B.I.B.I~ 

Theatre is life. Cinema is art. Television is furniture.

so love the furniture!

haha, just to share with you guys my favorite tv series for the time being :)

 VALEMONT

 The description about this series that i've got from its original website:

Valemont University is like any other exclusive east coast college. Rich students. Excellent faculty. Impressive alumni. Except Valemont has a secret. A dangerous one...

Sophie Fields is told by the police that they've discovered a body they believe to be her brother, Eric. As she joins the mysterious world of privilege and power at Valemont, she soon realizes there's more to the story.

Sophie steals a phone that and learns that Eric was a student at Valemont University. She assumes another student's identity and enrolls in the college herself, wanting to find out what happened to the brother she hadn't seen for years - and who murdered him.

Through a series of text and video messages on Eric's phone, Sophie pieces together the mystery that was her brother's life at Valemont... and discovers that his fate may soon be her own.

how's that? it's a new series on MTV and i'm still trying to catch up all the series yg dah lepas. but still, citer ni best jgak laa haha :)

GOSSIP GIRL

this one has been my fav since form 4, akhir tahun form 3 to be exact. dunno why i've become kinda addicted to this series.. haha.. teruk2.. almost put the story on my english spm paper, title: beauty. at that time i was thinking to write about serena van der woodsen, the 'it girl' in her high school and other things bout the character before i realised that 'this is spm, i mean, what am i thinking?' hahaha.. thats why lah my essay for spm was not as long as in my trial spm.. bad bad bad.. time wastage on thinking of silly things! haha. see, guys, how great was the influence of this show on me?? yah, call me whtvr, maybe i deserve it. haha. well, its an awesome show! so, please please PLEASE watch it!

haha :)

MELROSE PLACE

started watching this show since last year, mid-year-break. at that time i x berape layan sgt citer ni cause it is about working people, with careers, dark scandals, murder and mny more. so, now, as i'd finished my high school bru la lyan citer nih. anyway, still in progress of watching past episodes online only, dun noe why 8TV or even STAR WORLD didn't put this series on their programs.. do watch it tho!

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

this is an amusing story of ted, barney, marshmallow, robin and lily. seriously, this is a must-watch-series because of..... a... too many reasons! unsayable!(x terkate!) hahaha.. sorry, my english is so bad and i'm still learning them. however, back to the topic, this show is hilarious!! can't stand it! not much to say, just watch it! :D

VANITY LAIR

this reality show is about 10 people who had to survive to stay in the Vanity Lair, a house of beautiful or attractive people. what i love about this show is that, it has beautiful people, they are charming, some o them are smart, intelligent, some are cool, sexy and etc. rupe-rupenye, ad jgak org UK yg attractive, as before this i thought that UK people were mostly not as beautiful as US people. now i know that they're the same. idk how can i have such a thought before.. teruk kn? hahaha! 

GIULIANA AND BILL

a life reality show about the life of married couple. wife, giuliana rancic, E! news reporter and hubby, bill rancic, the winner of Donald Trump's, the APPRENTICE, sharing their life moment together as this latest season focus on their survival on getting a baby, the most wanted thing they ever wanted as married couple. it's a sweet yet funny show! have to be watched by all couples out there, eventho i'm still single, it's not wrong to dream rite? hehe..

KIMORA LIFE IN THE FAB LANE

yah yah, i know i know, it's a girl's show.. but who cares? you care? well, i don't care! hahaha.. i just love her money, her house and the busy lifestyle. hahaha.. cause i think in the future i'll have a busy lifestyle too rite, but of course in a different field lah.. (DOCTOR) :) heheee...

E! NEWS

tell me, who the hell in this world yg x tgk E! news?? cpat bg tau! this one is as important as Buletin Utama! hahaha.. hyperballs (hiperbola).... anyway, for those who doesn't watch E! news, you're lame!

90210

actually this is the new series of Beverly Hills 90210. up to now, i blum berjaye and blum ad tyme utk catch up balik, but i promise i'll do it by the end of this year. as one my girlfriend, rzmniah says, pinky promise! hahaha.. so keep me au-corant with this series if you guys watch it yah!

enjoy watching 'em!






 

Friendship isn't a big thing, it's a million little things!

my second post, is dedicated to my friend jaja a.k.a e~joule, hehe, just to say i'm sorry for what happened last nite. i didnt mean to cause sth in his relationship....i didn't know that TuuT would ask me that thing. but even so, i didn't tell TuuT anything. just so you know TuuT told me this morning that its okay, TuuT's fine for what happened, and said that it might not have anything to do with me. it's great init? huhhh... i'm hoping that ryte now u wont be mad at me anymore~ isk3..